Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Diary of a Cleanse Victim

Okay, so I don't know how if I should count this as Day 2 or 3...We'll go with day Wednesday.

A little background:

When TOD and I went to the Canadian National Exhibition (haul to come!  There were some fun makeup-y things there!), we gorged ourselves on fries, slushies and...deep fried butter.  It was possibly the most magical moment of my day, and that includes finding a Manicure-in-a-Minute by Sally Hansen for about a dollar.  That's right.

In the weeks before that, I'd just started a new internship (a very desk-based one) and as a result, have been ordering in terrible food for lunch and not walking as much as I normally do.  Also, since it's that precious time between semesters, TOD and I have been staying out much later than we are normally wont to do and my poor skin has just been freaking out.  Time for drastic action.

Credit: Converge Magazine
I don't regret these for a moment.

At first TOD wanted to do that cayenne-maple-lemonade cleanse but a year ago, on a whim, I tried mixing it and it made my throat close.  Not sure what happened since I've had all those ingredients before, but it was a little scary and I didn't want to attempt that again.  Then we decided to slowly work our way down to a one-day water cleanse -- that is, raw fruits and vegetables, then juice, then water and back up again.

How'd it go? Well...

Day 0: Our day of CNE sacrilege.  Mmm butter.

Day 1: We started the day around 12 -- I'd just gotten back from my parents' house (where I woke up feeling deathly hungry and scarfed two kiwis) -- and we went to Kensington market to stock up on vegetables for the day.  We bought spinach, kale, bell peppers, nectarines, lemons and Fuji apples.  We didn't purchase a ton of food because it was, again, only for one day.  We went home and googled how to prepare kale and ended up with a kale and nectarine salad.  Throughout the day we snacked on the rest of the veggies.  We weren't hungry exactly, but my god -- we missed food.

Day 1 Commentary:  We really shouldn't have binged the day before; that was a terrible idea.  We also should have taken some time to wean TOD off her caffeine addiction.  She regularly drinks 3 espressos and 3 cans of diet coke a day, so...starting about 4 pm, we didn't hear anything from her that wasn't: "GAH MY HEAD!!!"  I'm not hugely caffeine-addicted, but I started feeling a mild pressure behind one eye towards the end of the night.  Around 10 pm we turned off every possible light and lay in the darkness, trying to soothe our pounding heads.  I'm not sure what time we fell asleep.

Day 2: Started the day with hot water and lemon, then went to pick up our juice.  We've chosen to cleanse with prepared juices (which may not be super cleanse-y...but I really have no desire to pay $50 a day), so  we went with green juice from Bolthouse Farms and Arthur's Fresh Juice.  Why those?  They were on sale.  Sue us, we're broke students.  We also mixed it up with a 100% Carrot Juice and a giant bottle of pomegranate juice.  Set?  Set.

Around 10 I headed off to work with a 32 oz bottle of Arthur's Fresh Green Energy juice.  I had the first half from 10 am - 11 am, where I tried to employ this technique of chewing your juice.  I think my colleagues thought I was a little crazy, but they didn't comment.  Today's headache was much better, although it did worsen here and there.  I don't think drinking water or more juice helped, I just let it pass on its own.  Between 11 am - 1 pm I drank two 500 mL bottles of water before breaking down and turning to juice again.  I was hungry.  I tried not to drink it too quickly but that proved more difficult than I thought -- I finished the second half of my juice in about half the time it took me before.  At 5 I went to an organic juice bar with a friend and had a 16 oz pomegranate, blueberry and raspberry juice, then went home to attempt this carrot juice business.  It was...weird.  Likely not something I'd ingest regularly, but I was so hungry it wasn't that bad.

Day 2 Commentary: I think I was a little short with people.  Around 5 pm, I could feel myself getting more irritable and impatient (than I already am normally)!  I miss food.  My colleagues ordered in lunch and it wasn't even particularly divine food like curry or steak or anything -- they all had salads.  But I could smell the garlic in their vinaigrette like it was restaurant bread fresh out of the oven.  I contemplated just giving in -- several times, in fact.  I've also found the way to deal with the hideous hunger (that's not really the right word...) pangs was to distract myself.  TOD and I have been watching bad movies to keep from focusing on our respective caffeine and food addictions.  By the end of the day, I wanted nothing more than to feel the sensation of bread between my teeth.  TOD's remedy?   To make me watch Star Wars Episode I, which I'd never seen.  I fell asleep.

Don't blame me, it's the cleanse!

Bonus:  Since starting this cleanse, we've been going to bed really early (10ish?  That's early for us), if for no reason than to make the day end more quickly.  As a result, I've been waking up really early and having more time to write these!  Yay blog!

Day 3 awaits me.  Wish me luck!


  1. My goodness this sounds brutal!!! Good luck!!!!

  2. Good luck! There's no way I could do it.

  3. I've toyed with the idea of a cleanse, but they all seemed too hard. Let us know how the rest of it goes... maybe with tips from your experience I would be able to make it through one without cheating!