Friday, October 29, 2010

Don't Get Your Panties in a Twist. Your Bra, on the Other Hand...

I can’t think of a push-up bra emergency (well...yes I can, but none are legitimate emergencies), but here’s a Friday tidbit!
I’m rather prone to putting clothes on wrong – as in, I’ll be out the entire day before I come home, look in the mirror and realize the seams are on the OUTSIDE of my clothes.  In my defense, there was a time when inside-out clothing (as in, exposed seams) was trendy and it took place during my formative years.  Some may say that’s not an excuse, but it’s as close as I’ll get!

What's that got to do with this piece of lingerie?  I'm glad you asked.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Travel Beauty: Part 2 - Overnight

Just a tiny follow-up from my Travel post a week ago...but for a single night only.

Who goes away for just a night?  Well...

You've been there, you're out with your girlfriends and a cute guy catches your eye?  Then you wake up, and your make-up from the previous night has rubbed off so you have no longer have lashes or cheekbones but suddenly your dark circles are back?  Never fear!

Here are a few things you can just toss into your clutch - you know, just in case.

Monday, October 25, 2010

How-To: Taylor Momsen

Okay, so she's terrifying as Little J on Gossip Girl, but all scariness aside, she's actually a really pretty girl, and not half-bad as lead singer of The Pretty Reckless.  I think once she grows up and stops being such an attention whore she'll have a real future.

I really liked her in the first few seasons of Gossip Girl; then she started wearing her raccoon make-up and I was all WTF??  Then it started growing on me and eventually I just had to try it.
Courtesy of
It's an edgier, editorial look for sure, but it makes her eyes look so paradoxically wide and innocent that she looks oddly soft.  Paired with a soft, neutral lip/cheek colour against platinum blonde locks, it's an eye-catching look.  So here's how!

Friday, October 22, 2010

How-To: Remove (Glitter) Nail Polish

I change my polish so often that I've gotten kind of good at it, but there have been some mishaps along the way.  Here's to you not making the same mistakes!

So here's the theory.  Nail polish lasts longer when you apply it to a smooth, non-greasy surface (which is why before you apply polish it's best to swipe your nail with vinegar/remover) and let it dry completely.  When you take it off what you're doing is reintroducing a solvent that returns it to its liquid state by breaking up the polymer chains.

Things you will need:
  • Base Coat
  • Cuticle butter or some other thick, greasy lotion
  • Cotton pads
  • Nail Polish Remover (I use non-acetone.  It just sounds better.)
  • Foil, occasionally
Easy removal starts with proper application.  Always use a basecoat; it protects your nails and the polish will come off more easily.

To prepare, slather the skin around your nails (it's okay if you get your nail too) with your cuticle butter.  It'll protect your skin from drying out and after you're done your fingertips will be all moisturized!

Start by soaking a cotton pad in nail polish remover.  Most people don't discriminate when they choose a material with which to remove nail polish - it makes a difference.  Stay away from facial tissues, or as I've seen some people do, toilet paper.  You need something that a) will not dissolve in liquid as toilet paper is designed to do (I still shake my head at this) and b) has enough texture to pull off the polish.  Some people like to use felt - it's not always necessary, but it's nice for hard-to-remove glitter polishes (keep reading for a felt-less alternative). 

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Review: C.O. Bigelow Mentha Lip Tint

Every single time I finish putting a gloss on someone, the first thing they do is blot.  Why, people, WHY??

The beauty of a gloss is in it's immaculate, smooth finish - just as you wouldn't want dents in your nail polish or unevenness in your freshly waxed car, why would you mar the polished shine of a freshly-glossed lip??

Then one day, I came across the following:

During a cursory browse in Bath & Body Works, I came across a table full of irresistible lip goodies.  I'm not usually a fan of flavoured lipgloss, but I just have to say:  these are DELICIOUS.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

80s Throwback?

Yeah it is, and not in a good way.

The other day, during one of my procrasto-sessions (that sounds like something either infectious or inappropriate...I'll keep looking), I started browsing the Kova&T sale on HauteLook (let me know if you want an invite; they're one of the few sale sites that don't need an American credit card).

I came across this hideous dress.
Kova&T Poppy Dress

As you can tell from the red emblem in the corner, it's sold out.  After a little light Googling, apparently some people really love this dress - I just don't get it.  I understand recycling trends, I really do, especially with the skip-a-decade rule a wise gay man once told me:

"Every fashion/style/aesthetic comes back two decades later.  That is, now that we are in the early 2000s, we are solidly welcoming back the 80s.  Once we hit 2010, the 90s will be in full force, and so on and so forth - all with a modern twist.  Just watch."  (Thus far, he's been correct - American Apparel lamé leggings, anyone?  The recent plaid uptake?  That's right.)

So I get it, this dress is from last season, plucked from the dregs of our 80s revival.  That being said, it's desperately lacking that aforementioned modern twist.  This dress quite literally looks like it was never opened from its original 1985 packaging.  The only eye-catching thing about it is the print, but even that doesn't save this pathetic attempt at recycling. 

Better luck next time, Kova&T.

Monday, October 18, 2010

Travel Beauty: Part One - Weekend

Hi, my name is The Procrastinator, and I'm obsessed with what to pack.  Hi, Procrastinator!

For the few days (read: weeks) before a trip,  I can't think about anything except what I'm going to bring with me.  I'm that person who hates heavy things and checking luggage.  I'm George Clooney in Up in the Air.

So when it comes to beauty, it only makes sense that I pare down my stash to the barest essentials.  On a really long trip (i.e. more than 2 weeks), I understand that some people don't want to look the same the entire time, and it's more likely that you'll have more events to go to that call for heavier/dressier make up, so I say break out the train case.

However, people who pack a carry-on full of beauty products (and another of just shoes) for a weekend?  I love make up and shoes and clothes, but come on now.  It's three days and half of two of them you'll be in transit.  So here's how we do:

Weekend Essentials

  • Mascara/Eyeliner - if you're one of those people who can get away with not wearing eyeliner and mascara's enough, do away with it.  I am not one of them.
  • Lip Colour - take that one that you use all the time.  You know, that same colour you keep buying over and over again from different lines because it just looks so good.
  • Cheek Colour - this is something I can agree that people need to bring. Again though, just one.  I know you have a go-to colour (this is also your opportunity to bring a mirror, since blushes often come in compact form).  Great for contouring and if you need a little colour on your lids, your blush should work (otherwise, you're wearing the wrong colour).
  • Eyeshadow - absolutely not.  See above.

Here's mine:

Clockwise from left:
  1. L'Oreal Telescopic in Carbon Black
  2. DiorShow in Black
  3. Contact lens case filled with shea butter and NARS Multiple in South Beach

Friday, October 15, 2010

Things I Love: Shea Butter

I adore reading articles singing the praises of Vaseline, Aquaphor, Rosebud's Salve, Elizabeth Arden 8 Hour Cream and the like.  I think I've thoroughly researched every single application there is for petroleum jelly, and I buy it in Costco-sized buckets because I keep thinking I'll use it all since there are SO many ways you can use it. 

That hasn't really worked out for me.  I am now just a woman sitting at home, surrounded by vats of jelly, and not the delicious kind.

I'm also really bad at finishing products before I purchase replacments for them, so about a year ago, my roommate and I purchased a pound of shea butter.  That's right, a pound, because we simply don't have enough moisturizer around the house.  It came in a giant metal tin (we're obsessed with tiny/not-so-tiny containers), which we opened to find the most unappetizing yellow solid.  The guy who sold it to us kept peppering us with promises of "the softest skin you'll ever have", "so many uses" and "if you bring the tin back exactly one year from now, I'll give you $10 off the next one!" We're huge sucks.  It's been over a year and we're barely halfway through.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

How-To: Tightline

Here's a post-Canadian-Thanksgiving treat to get you out of your Tuesdays slumps!  One of my favourite techniques, as requested by a good friend of mine who is new to the world of make up (specifically, eyeliner).

How to go from this:

To this!

Pardon the lack of sleep

Monday, October 11, 2010

Travel Beauty: Containers

One thing I find most annoying about flying now (and I know it's partially my fault since I despise checking luggage) is the 3-1-1 rule.  I've tried pleading with the security guys but they all seem rather threatened by liquid liner.  I was intimidated too at first, but it gets easier, I promise!

I can't travel without skin products - my skin is highly sensitive to any kind of change: food, weather, pollution, you name it.  I can't travel with the full sized bottles though, so I'm on a never-ending quest for tiny dispensers/containers.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

So I Don't Know if You Know This but... You've Got Two Colours on Your Nails

Why, I had no idea! How on earth did that happen?  Manicurist, you're FIRED!

Here's a secret: I really don't even get manicures that often.  I should, but I change my polish so frequently it's just not worth it - that, and I find something so soothing about polish flowing over my nails.  Ahem.

My thing with polish is that I can't wear the same colour on both hands; I'll do it if I really adore a colour/am too lazy to pick two colours, but even then I end up freaking out and changing one hand.  I've had a few screwups here and there though when I've picked colours that just. don't. go.

This is a rather clear example of things going together but not matching (I tried explaining that to an old boyfriend...I think we broke up because of it).  Clearly I'm not okay with matching, but there is a part of me that insists that the colours complement each other, if for no reason other than to add an element of intent instead of accident.  Here's how!

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Review: GHD IV Styler

I went to high school in the age where stick straight hair was all the rage (read: early 2000s), so I have rather vivid memories of girls (myself occasionaly among them) bringing flatirons to school and straightening their hair after gym class.  Yeah.  It sounded stupid then, too.

Then the world realized that hair does not look better if it appears glued on, and so we entered the age of the Jennifer Aniston natural/beachy curl, led by a resurgence of young Hollywood. You know the hair I'm talking about - all those kids on Gossip Girl/The Hills/The City/Pretty Little Liars have it (yes, I watch all those shows.  Mock me accordingly).

So began my search for a transitional iron - one that would let me curl and straighten, in case I decided that waves wouldn't look good on me.  Also, I was seriously differently-abled when it came to using a curling iron; even though I've gotten better at it, the curls don't stay as well since I'm too lazy to go through that whole curl-tuck-pin routine.

I noticed a girl at my work had the most gorgeous curls I'd ever seen, and I asked her how she got them. Her response: "The GHD 1 inch flatiron - you won't go wrong."  Naturally, I bolted towards the nearest Sephora and plonked down the $280 without asking any questions.  Turns out?  She was right.

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Lashes, Lashes, Lashes - If One Doesn't Work...Try Two

So I'm not a huge false-lash user - I never use them on myself because I just don't have that sort of hand-eye coordinate dexterity.  That said, I LOVE lashes.  The perfect complement to any ready to wear look is a full, lusciously dark lash.  So how to?

I'm a pretty frequent mascara purchaser since I'm paranoid about getting pink eye (despite having never had it.  I'm not even sure what it is, but I don't screw around with my eyes).  I've tried most of the cult favourites - DiorShow, Dior Extase, L'Oreal Telescopic, Maybelline Great Lash, Maybelline Lash Discovery, Givenchy Phenomen'eyes, and the list goes on.  Weirdly enough, I've never tried a Clinique mascara; not even High Lengths or High Impact.  Hmm.  Blogpost for another day?

Mascara by Procrastinator on

Friday, October 1, 2010

It's Cold but I'll Tan if I Want To

I have to tan very carefully.  At the beach I go for about a half hour on each side in the sun without any form of SPF to get some colour, then I'll slather myself in sunscreen and stay in the shade; whatever tan develops during this time is a bonus.  That way, I don't burn, but I can still say I've been on holiday.

I obviously don't condone skin cancer or vitamin D overdosage, but I looooove me some tanning.  I recently came across a post of Amy Nadine's (make-up artist to the likes of Kristin Ritter, Lauren Conrad and Whitney Port) about using a darker shade of foundation to give yourself a little all-over glow.  To recap, for Lauren Conrad's March 2010 Seventeen magazine cover, she used a shade of foundation slightly deeper than normal to fake a tan.  I was a little skeptical at first (Amy, I am not worthy); I was worried that it would look like I'd just grabbed the wrong shade and went with it anyway.

I was right: